Four steps forward, one step back

Ten years ago, we had our fourth and final beautiful bundle with the birth of our daughter. We enjoyed every minute of her babyhood, but as she grew we moved past the life of strollers, cribs, high chairs, and sleeper jammies. Rob and I could head out the door for spontaneous coffee dates. Nobody needed help brushing their teeth or cleaning their rooms.  Everybody in the house could sleep through the night and hold a coherent conversation. We were living the life of parents with "big kids".

Then, three years ago we turned our lives upside-down by welcoming a tiny baby boy into our lives. As new foster parents we believed the story we were told in training that most foster cases wrap up in a year or so. Silly us. Our little guy stayed...and stayed...and stayed. For over three years. And here he is today, almost our forever son through adoption.

We gave our hearts away to our little boy the moment we held him in our arms. We had no idea that he would be a gift from God that would change our lives forever. And we never expected to find ourselves back in the life of parents-of-babies again. Yes, we miss some of the convenience and flexibility we used to have. We sigh as we deal with potty training, car seats, and illogical mood swings one more time. But we also have more laughter and awwww moments than we could have any other way.

The comments people make are true:
"Boy, you have your hands full." Yep, and our hearts are full too.
"They keep you young, don't they." Yes--we get to remember how to play and laugh about the little things and take life at a child's pace.
"He's going to pass you up any day now." Yes. I'm short. He's tall. I think I'll be looking up to him when he's eight. It's all good.

We're nearly done with diapers and we're shopping for a bed to replace the crib. The high chair is back in storage. Life with big-kids-only is back on the horizon. But I'm so thankful for these last three years--one more chance to cuddle up and marvel over the little milestones. It's been worth every minute.

Here we go...

I feel as if I'm at the top of a roller coaster.  My stomach is tight, anticipating the rush to come.  Our foster care journey has begun.  Our book manuscript is submitted for editing.  Our son is preparing to take flight out of the nest.  Our daughters require new ways of eating, so I strike out into unknown cooking territory.  So much change and so much to learn!  But I am so very aware of the nearness of my Father and His piloting hand.

This blog will attempt to capture some of what I discover.  About mothering a baby not my own.  Writing books.  Letting go.  Feeding my family.  Encountering the power of God in my daily moments.  And, I hope, connecting in new ways with the ones that love me and are observing this crazy life of mine!